is it that time already?

it’s almost dec. 1st!  ahh…a little over a week until i return to china.  i have spent two months in the land of the free and have enjoyed it thoroughly.  america is indeed the land of comfort and luxury. 

my time here has been what i had hoped it to be…restful, reconnecting with folks and a time of processing and reflecting.  i’ve come to a realization that it’s ok to acknowledge that my time there has been very hard without feeling guilty or that i’m not trying to victimize myself or gain sympathy points.  i’ve experienced many great things, and i’m in the process of learning more and more of what simple joy looks like.  but since my return, i’ve been asking, what’s next?  where do i go from here?  

China has been my dream for so many years but reality has been far from my ideal china experience.   my stubborn self doesn’t want to let go of my dream so i thought i could stay longer to establish myself some more, and perhaps china would be what i hoped it to be.   that makes sense.  it would be a waste of time, resources, effort if i came back so soon right?  but i couldn’t imagine staying there for a few more years…i was nearly falling apart before my return to the states.   so one day i asked myself, how would you feel if you were released from china? and i felt freedom, the ability to breath again and no longer stuck.  i realized that i didn’t want to let go of it because i was holding onto a specific picture of what it should be like, and i hadn’t seen that come to fruition yet.  

so i let go and turned to Him.  i’m definitely returning to china dec. 1st.  though i feel ‘released,’ it doesn’t necessarily mean an immediate departure so the future is still uncertain (but i’m secretly hoping for a summer return) =)

i’m back!!

hello folks!  sorry about the long break.  the proxy i was using in china stopped working so i couldn’t access my blog but now that i’m back in america, i can blog all i want.    yup, that’s right.  i decided to come home for two months, and i’ve been back for about a week now.  i’m in portland visiting my family, then i head up to seattle in a few days.  everything here seems oddly familiar.  i’ve been doing what i always do when i’m in portland, eating lots and shopping lots.  i kinda forgot how much there is to see in a grocery store.  things here are triple the size of things in china.  i walked through every aisle at costco and safeway and simple stared at all the foods i had been missing for sooo long.  in the six days i’ve been home, i’ve been to costco three times…pretty crazy huh? 

even before i arrived, i asked my mom if she could cook me steak as my first dinner, and she did.  it was oh so tasty!  beef…oh, how i miss good, juicy beef!

a huge chunk of meat all for me!!

and then i had sushi at saburo with my family and relatives.  man, this place serves the biggest sushi i’ve ever seen!

sushi sushi sushi

one piece = nearly an entire eel

yesterday my sister and i went to downtown, pearl district, and 23rd st.  portland is soo beautiful.  the weather has cooled down significantly, and leaves are starting to fall.  i love the cool, crisp air.  we rode the max and the portland streetcar.  i miss clean and efficient public transportation systems.

the MAX is so cool

it’s amazing that i venture outside, and i don’t come back all dusty and gross.  i don’t have to wash my hands and feet.  and i don’t have to smell yucky smells.  oh, the joys of clean air.  my eczema has significantly improved, largely due to the cleaner water.

sometimes i forget that i’m now in the same time zone as my friends, and i don’t have to call them at certain times.

people here are soo nice.  i first flew into LAX and besides the customs person (they’re never nice anyway), everybody was so nice to me.  great service really does make a difference. 

but sometimes i forget i can’t just go across the street to go buy groceries.

i love the public library, full of english books. 

sometimes i forget that i no longer need to carry a wad of cash because i can use my credit card…anywhere.

sometimes i forget i can buy a lot of stuff and not have to worry about carrying it on the bus because i have a car, and it can help me carry a lot of things.

real carpet feels so nice…

i love a well-insulated home.

white people in my city are very, very noticeable, and they draw a lot of attention.  whenever i’m with them, i am relegated to two roles: translator or tour guide.  i hate it.  there are a lot of white people here, and i love how very normal that is. 

everything is so much bigger here…the homes, the cars, the beds, the clothing, the people…

i love pacific northwest weather.

and i love no great firewall internet…

call me little miss crocker

the world is turning upside down because i’ve been cooking up a storm.  the other day i made enchiladas, thanks to the CA team who brought me corn tortillas.  because i made such a huuggee batch, i’ve been eating it the past 4 days.  did you know if you add vinegar to cream, it makes sour cream?  my old roomie taught me that.  two days ago i made yummy tacos,  and they were oh so tasty….  and last night i whipped out the breakmaker and tried to make some bread for the first time.  it’s not incredibly tasty but i’m proud of myself for trying.  and just now i baked some lemon tea cookies. 

lemon tea cookies

today i went

rafting.  =)  my friends found us a special deal, and it only cost us about $20 USD for transportation, lunch, rafting and playing in a man-made wave pool.  it was a lot of fun but boy was it a cultural experience.

let me explain:

lady in a full-set of pjs

 

lady who had a bathrobe on her the entire time

 

beware of the next rated R picture…

men in speedos....ahh!

just a few pictures

tobi!

please meet little tobi if you haven’t already.  he’s being fostered by a foreign family in a nearby town.  i haven’t seen him in few months, and he’s already walking!  he’s such a cutie-pie, and i miss him already.  sometimes i wish i was a mommy…

hospital sign

i was just with a group of people, and they were asked to go to the local hospital to get checked out for swine flu.  i don’t think i would have known how to navigate through the whole thing without a chinese friend.  first we had to buy each person a registration card.  then we had to go see a doctor to determine what kind of ‘procedure’ each person needed.  the doctor then determined they needed a blood test and an x-ray.  but before anything could happen, we had to go pay for the blood test and x-ray.   after payment, we searched the hospital for the x-ray room and had to search the hospital again for the blood testing room.  and the blood test wasn’t the normal stick a needle through your arm for some blood, it was the prick your finger and send the blood through a machine.  after getting the results, we had to go back to the doctor, and he looked through results and determined that the whole team did not have swine flu.  at the end, one member commented on how they didn’t even check their temperature…

elementary school sign

i know you can’t read the above sign very well but it reads: 1) love china, love people, love communist china 2) follow laws and increase your knowledge of the laws.  these signs were in all the classrooms in this elementary school…

what??

walked into a fancy department store the other day and saw this!!??

international lesbian and loaded??

green pants man

i saw a man wearing hot neon green pants the other day.  it’s not a great picture, but you get the idea.  not only were the pants hot stinkin’ green, they were also see-through!

hot stylin' green pants man

my moment of fame

i was on tv last night.  yup, me on the local television network.  i have been busy these past few days with coordinating a english teachers training program and on our first day the tv station came and interviewed one of our foreign teachers, and i acted as the translator.  i have yet to see the interview, but i have been promised a copy of it.

beidous

beidou in chinese literally means back basket but it also refers to an occupation in this area.

beidous waiting for work

beidous usually have baskets on their back and roam the streets everyday looking for work.  their services include carrying peoples’ groceries in their baskets, moving heavy things, basically any sort of back breaking manual labor that the normal joe can’t or doesn’t want to do.   beidous are usually from the countryside and are unable to find decent jobs in the city so they resort to their current occupation.  people pay around 5-10 RMB/ time or / piece. 

beidou @ work carrying a couch tied to his back

i hired a beidou when i moved into my current home.  he was able to single-handedly carry a huge couch down 5 flights of stairs.  i couldn’t believe it.  when i asked him how he did it, he said he’s used to it and there’s no other way. 

last night my flight from shenzhen was delayed, and i didn’t get home until 2am.  as the taxi driver was taking me home, i saw pockets of beidous sleeping on the sidewalk.   and i realize that they have no other possessions but their beidous.  many of them used their baskets as pillows or chairs.  i wonder what they do for warmth in the winter time.  actually i remember seeing them burning anything they could find on the streets so they could keep warm near the fire.  the image of them sleeping on their baskets is still so vivid.   for some reason i thought many of them had homes and families to go to but they don’t, and it was so heartbreaking to see.   not only is their work difficult but they lead such lonely lives. 

 

yesterday i went to mcdonald’s

at the shenzhen airport and brought back some cheeseburgers!

cheeseburgers in the bag